Title: Cubicle Warfare, Atlantis Style

Author: Jedi Buttercup

Disclaimer: The words are mine; the worlds are not. I claim nothing but the plot.

Rating: PG-13.

Summary: B:tVS, SG-1, Atlantis. The prospect of more Ancient children's toys was almost enough to distract Daniel from what Buffy's writhing on the ceiling was doing to his libido. 900 words.

Spoilers: B:tVS post-"Chosen". SG-1 and Atlantis through seasons 8/1, then AU.

Daniel trudged down the hall toward his office, returning from the weekly department heads' meeting. The first few meetings after he'd arrived had been a little awkward-- Jack had made his appointment as Elizabeth's second a requirement for Sheppard to continue as Atlantis' military commander, trying to placate those who wanted more checks and balances on the Atlantis expedition without actually doing anything harmful, and a lot of the scientists without prior SGC experience had initially been wary of him. That had changed once they'd realized how much easier he was to deal with than Rodney-- unfortunately, as many of them expressed their gratitude with stacks of extra paperwork.

Luckily, Rodney had also chosen to take Daniel's appointment positively, crowing about how much more he got done now that he didn't have to supervise the "guesswork and voodoo" departments. He even ducked out of most meetings, deputizing Radek in his place. Daniel didn't blame him; there were days when he'd gladly trade the pen of authority for a P-90 and a regular place on a gate team again. Still, he was in Atlantis, able to study the city in depth as he hadn't any of the sites he'd visited with SG-1, and still making a positive contribution to the program that had become his life's work. He wouldn't trade this assignment for-- well, for one particular world, perhaps, but not for anything less.

He'd been a little more worried about Buffy, who still had connections with friends and family on Earth, but she'd adjusted just fine. She'd decided to treat her new team as she would have her "Scoobies", and for the most part, they'd bonded well. The only snag so far had occurred when Buffy had decided to stalk Rodney to increase his situational awareness and coolness under fire, and, in what had seemed an inexplicable move at first, Sheppard had allowed it. Rodney had been frustrated and furious for weeks, taking it out on everyone around him.

Daniel had understood the colonel's reasoning much better after Rodney had begun to retaliate, engineering a series of increasingly vicious booby traps and malfunctions that had left Buffy equally frazzled. Not only had Rodney in fact gained experience that could prove useful in the field, Buffy had learned a lot more about what Rodney was capable of when motivated, not to mention a greater appreciation for the dimensions of the city, and Sheppard hadn't had to lift a finger to accomplish it.

Speaking of traps, Daniel thought as he stepped into his office. A tail of blonde hair dangled in mid-air just above his desk, and as he looked up he could see the rest of his beautiful, deadly girlfriend attached to it; a length of strangely patterned, probably Ancient chain had been wrapped several times around her body and strung through hooks in the ceiling. Buffy's gene was as artificial as Rodney's, and Rodney still had a better grasp of how to key things to his specific control than she did; this wasn't the first time Daniel'd had to free her from one surprise or another.

"Is something wrong with the floor?" he asked her, chuckling.

She rolled her eyes and squirmed within her bindings. "Stop laughing and get me down from here."

Daniel grinned appreciatively up at her a moment longer, taking in the sight-- then blinked, perplexed, as he recognized the unusual shape of the chain's links.

"Those aren't-- monkeys," he said, unable to believe what he was seeing.

"As in, more fun than a barrel of?" she said, petulantly. "Yep. And the Ancients' version isn't plastic; they're strong, they can hook themselves, and they want to be a chain. I can't get them to let go!"

"The Ancients had barrels of monkeys," he repeated again, delighted at the implications this could have for his understanding of their child-rearing practices. "Well, of course they would know what monkeys were; if we're truly the second evolution of their form, it follows that they evolved the same way we did. But that they would create the same kind of toy--"

Buffy's green eyes had gone a little flinty as he rambled, and she interrupted him sharply. "Yeah, and that's not the only thing we found," she said. "But I'm not telling you where the Ancient toybox is until you get me down from here." She squirmed in her chains again for emphasis, trying futilely to reach the fastenings the terminal monkeys at each end of the chain had been attached to.

The prospect of more Ancient children's toys was almost enough to distract Daniel from what her writhing on the ceiling was doing to his libido. "All right, just give me a minute," he said, focusing his mind to the task.

It still took more effort for him to work gene-activated equipment than it did Sheppard-- despite his greater experience with the Ancients, he'd only acquired the genetic marker during his second return from Ascension, and Sheppard had had it his whole life. Still, when Daniel asked, the city took notice; not even Sheppard could block him. The hooked arms at the end of each link in the chain slowly unbent, releasing their identical brethren, and let her go amid a shower of miniature mechanical primates.

Space monkeys, indeed, Daniel thought suddenly as he steadied Buffy on her feet. Jack was never going to let them live this down.

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© 2007 Jedi Buttercup.