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Posted August 25, 2009

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Fan Fiction: Quick Ride to Crazytown

Title: Quick Ride to Crazytown

Author: Jedi Buttercup

Disclaimer: The words are mine; the worlds are not. I claim nothing but the plot.

Rating: PG.

Summary: B:tVS, Transformers. She wondered what kind of enemy the inorganic soldier had imagined. 400 words.

Spoilers: BtVS post-"Chosen"; TF vague for "Revenge of the Fallen" (2009)

Notes: The FFA pairing list strikes again, sorry (Buffy & Ironhide).

"Wow," Buffy said, owl-eyed, staring across the expanse of parking lot at the smoking heap of charred purplish flesh that used to be a demon three times her size.

"What the slag was that?" the even larger form to the other side of her demanded, its electronic voice somehow conveying an impression of disgust. "When you said the things you fought were non-human, I thought you meant something a little less-- organic."

Buffy turned back to the oversized metal being-- was its name Idlewild? she didn't think she was remembering that right-- eyeing its heavy black frame as she wondered what kind of enemy the inorganic soldier had imagined. And if she really wanted to know. If she hadn't been personally introduced to it by a professional acquaintance of Riley's, she'd have thought it a prank of Andrew's, or some kid's magically supersized Japanese toy-- but it had a personality. And it had weaponry like nothing she'd ever seen.

"Okay, so that thing where I said guns were never useful?" she babbled. "I take it back. Where we you guys when the Judge was in town? You would have saved us a lot of grief."

"That was a demon, huh?" Major Lennox-- the not-really-a-truck's normal-sized companion-- said, arms crossed and brow furrowed where he stood beside her. "You fight those things alone?"

Buffy dragged her attention back to her purely human-- attractive, married-- temporary slayage partner with difficulty. "Occasionally," she said. "Traditional Slayers are supposed to, anyway. Lucky for me-- not so lucky for them sometimes-- I kept my friends and family around."

"Right," Lennox nodded. "These-- Scoobies Riley was talking about?"

There was something about the knowing glint in his eye that made Buffy sigh in irritation. "Exactly how much did Riley tell you, anyway? We don't exactly advertise outside of people in the know; it tends to earn you a quick ride to crazytown."

"Ma'am, NEST teams up with alien robots," he told her, squint-lines around his eyes crinkling with amusement. "I think we've got you beat in the crazytown department."

Buffy tilted her head in acknowledgement. "Point," she said, as the over-looming testament to the Major's questionable sanity took several earth-shaking steps forward and leaned over the demon's remains, prodding at it with enormous metal arm.

"I guess we're all crazy together, now," she mused, and shook her head. What would the Powers throw at her next?


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